The Blushing Bride

I'm now Mrs. Youngblood-- and I have the pics to prove it!

2009-09-15T09:37:00.013-04:00

Well, it's official! Lauren Bayne Anderson is now Lauren Anderson Youngblood! We got our marriage license in the mail yesterday and I'm officially a married woman with a new name.

Toward the end of the planning process it was crazy-- I didn't have time to post to the blog. It was all I could do to get everything done for the wedding and maintain any semblance of sanity.

But you know how they say something always goes wrong? Luckily, nothing did! At least nothing major. The wedding went off without a hitch. (Almost) everything was perfect.

The week before the wedding, there was a hurricane that wreaked havoc on east coast weather. Originally, waaaaay back in September 2008, we picked our date based on the Farmer's Almanac's prediction. Boy was it dead on. The Farmer's Almanac predicted there would be a hurricane the week before the wedding, but that the weather would clear up on August 30th, our wedding day.

Because the Farmer's Almanac had been so dead on in the weeks and months preceding, I didn't even worry about it when it rained all week. I don't know HOW they do it, but sure enough, Sunday morning as me and my girls were getting our hair and makeup done, the rain and heavy fog cleared way for the sun! It was a PERFECT day-- sunny, with temperatures in the high 70's. NOT what we were expecting for a late August wedding (I was prepared for yucky humidity and oppressive heat).

Among the day's surprises (good and bad):

1. I expected to enjoy the reception, but in the end was totally overcome by the beauty of the ceremony-- so much so that we snuck away from the reception for a few minutes to visit the ceremony site one last time, just us, and tried to take it all in again.

2. Dad broke down and cried on several occasions-- along with one other person, who shall remain nameless, but is usually as hard as stone. :-)

3. What amounted to a full table of confirmed guests didn't show up-- costing us over $1,500. (It's going to take a very long while before we're ready to get over that one!) This was totally not expected and totally infuriating, since we could have saved that money!

4. My husband(!!!) Anthony has two left feet, but in the end, performed our first dance perfectly!

5. The hardest part was letting my friends go-- especially those who came from afar. Two of my bridesmaids came all the way from Israel, another came from Canada (but we all lived together in Israel years ago). This was the first time we've all been together in over two years-- ironically, this time, now all with husbands. It was so incredibly hard to say goodbye.

6. It's a happy day, but one mixed with a twinge of sadness-- something the rabbi pointed out so eloquently at the end of the ceremony before we broke the glass. It's the happiest day of your life and represents a new beginning, but it's also the end of a huge chapter and you're really coming to grips with the fact that it's time to let all that go.

7. Unfortunately, I was NOT thrilled with the way the wedding cake looked, but at least it tasted great. We went with red velvet (chocolate ganache and cream cheese filling with butter cream icing)-- which many of our guests were having for the first time-- and it was a HUGE hit. People are still raving about it. Also, Anthony LOVED the surprise groom's cake -- a Philadelphia Eagles football helmet replica. And, the flowers were PERFECT. I had had the hardest time settling on an idea, theme, color scheme-- I just could not articulate what I wanted. But it's like the florist read my mind, because the flowers were just what I'd pictured. Absolutely perfect.

Among the things I'm so glad I did: One day while perusing the shelves of Barnes and Nobles, I came across the most BEAUTIFUL Italian paper, with a gorgeous design. I decided to buy it and write three heartfelt letters that I gave to my mom, dad and Anthony, with strict instructions not to open or read until the morning of the wedding. Those touching and extremely personal letters, I believe, meant more to each of them than the gifts that followed.

We're still waiting on the disk with ALL of our images from the photographer, but she sent over a slide show with the first batch of images that will be online for two weeks. Check it out here: http://lorrainedaleyweddings.com/weddings/laurenandanthony/slideshow.html

And... about life after the wedding? The planning process was tough-- dealing with family issues, money issues, stress took its toll at times. But since the wedding-- in fact, specifically since we've returned from the honeymoon, we seemed to have settled into a peaceful bliss. I can honestly say I feel closer to him now than I have ever before.

The Cake!

2009-06-27T08:00:00.005-04:00

We're going to meet with the bakery today to decide on a cake design. As I mentioned before, we're doing red velvet with chocolate ganache filling and cream cheese icing-- DELICIOUS!

But I'm also considering marble cake with canoli cream filling for one of the layers. We'll finally taste them today.

Originally I was going for something of a more casual look (like the orchid cake at the bottom) but the more I look, the more I think I'm feeling the classic, almost Victorian styles. Not at all what I thought I'd go for in the beginning, but what the heck, it stays with the vintage theme!

Here are some cakes that I'm using for inspiration. The top two are my favs so far...

My Birdcage Veil-- the Finished Product

2009-06-26T08:00:00.004-04:00

A while ago I mentioned I was thinking about being a two-veil bride. I decided to go for it-- but to save cash, I figured I'd make the birdcage veil myself.

My first veil-- that I'll wear for the ceremony is a beautiful two-layered cathedral veil that I bought plain from Jessica McClintock. My mother hand beaded it and it came out beautifully-- just as nice as the ones I've seen in the stores for $300 and $400, but a quarter of the price!

The birdcage veil, which I'll wear for the cocktail hour, came out just a nice. Rather than pay the $50-$200 I've seen shops charge for birdcage veils, I bought some Russian netting ($1.99 a yard), a comb, and some ostrich feathers and silk flowers from A.C. More. I think the feathers really add to the vintage look. I made the whole thing for under $25 bucks! Up top are the flowers on the side of my BC veil, close up.

The hard part was finding directions online. I specifically wanted a veil that I wore off to one side, and all the DIY patterns I found covered all or most of your face and were simply the wrong shape.

Finally, a friend forwarded me a post she found on how to make the type of birdcage veil I wanted. It literally took me 30 minutes to make and I think it came out beautifully. Here's are some pics of me in my veil, at my first dress fitting (sorry, I had to cut out the dress, since my FH stops by the blog sometimes!)

Not the clearest picture, but the seamstress was taking them, so I couldn't be too picky. AND, excuse the bags under my eyes-- I've been up late at night wedding planning! :-)

Because I had so much trouble finding a pattern that worked, I wanted to re-post the instructions I used. Please note that the directions below were NOT written or created by me, but rather, came from the blog Once Wed. Check out the original post here.

DIY BIRDCAGE WEDDING VEIL

Making a veil at home can be just as simple as hunting for one. This birdcage veil was custom made for the bride above, Halligan Norris Smith. The assemblage process took only a couple of hours and shopping for the materials was even less time. The best part is that you have the custom veil you wanted, for much less money. Click “more” below to read the rest of the tutorial…

Materials & Tools

-4×4 Square of felt

-1/2 yd of 9 or 8” wide Russian veiling

-Hat combs (optional, bobby pins may substitute)

-Fabric glue

-Good luck charm

-3 silk or fabric flowers, source: craft store, tinseltrading.com

-8 filler flowers, millinery or small silk flowers work well

-Needle & thread

-Scissors

-Straight pins

-Ruler/ measuring tape

Instructions

Step 1-Cut heart from felt using template or freehand

Step 2-Cut veiling to 14” piece, if you want a fuller veil add an inch or two, demonstrate fullness by gathering the fabric in one hand. When cutting, be sure to cut just below the “knots”

Step 3-With needle and thread make a continuous running stitch starting with a cut edge, then work needle along one finished edge and thru the other cut edge. Leaving opposite finished edge open. Be sure to catch each stitch through the “knots” of the veiling.

Step 4- Gather to fit on felt heart, then tack down by stitching with needle and thread. At this point play with veiling and placement using a model head or in the mirror. If using combs, attach now to opposite side of heart that veil is attached to.

Steps 5 & 6-Pin flowers to heart, on top of veiling to figure out best placement, then tack down with needle and thread or glue into place.

Step 7-Once main flowers are set into place add filler flowers, good luck charms or trims to your liking. Set flowers by gluing stem ends and sticking them in-between main flowers. Charms or trims can be added with needle and thread.

Again, the directions above were taken from the blog, Once Wed.

Book the Honeymoon Hotels: Check

2009-06-25T00:29:00.016-04:00

We crossed a major item off our to-do list this week in booking our honeymoon hotels. Can't believe we put it off for as long as we did-- and we nearly paid big. Luckily we were able to find space in some places we were happy with, but boy were they booking up fast! A few of our top choices were already completely booked.

We're doing 7 days and nights in Bali, Indonesia and 2 days in Hong Kong (we had a layover, so we figured, why not extend it and see some of China too?) One thing Bali is known for is its spas-- and its super reasonably priced services. You can get a 90 minute deep tissue massage for $25! The perfect place to relax after the stress of a wedding-- you bet that I'll be getting a massage everyday :-)

Here's what we wound up with in the end:

When we first arrive in Bali, we will stay in Sanur, a peaceful beach town. We figure this is the perfect place to relax and unwind (aka veg out) after the stress of the wedding and the 20 hour flight from New York!

We have a two story bungalow overlooking a private garden at the Tandjung Sari Hotel. Our room also has an outdoor shower, a balcony and a view of the ocean. Breakfast served in room every morning.

After three days lounging on the beach in Sanur, we head inland to Ubud, the cultural capital of Bali, where you'll find ancient Hindu temples, rice fields, volcanos, traditional dancing and I hear lots and lots of monkeys.

Since we splurged on the hotel in Sanur, we wanted to go for something a little cheaper in-land. We settled on Ubud Bungalow, which is amazingly priced-- we got the best room at the small hotel for $40 a night. Yes, you read that right. And don't worry, we checked the reviews. Bali is one of those countries that's expensive to get to, but cheap once you're there.

Again, private bungalow. Addmitedly, more modest than the hotel in Sanur, but still a great place for an AMAZING price. Check out the pics:

And finally, on the way back to the States, we have a two day layover in Hong Kong. FH was responsible for finding the Hong Kong hotel, and boy did he knock it out of the park. We're staying at The Mira, which is supposed to be ultra hip and modern, with insane technology and 42" plasma TVs in every room.

Now we just need to get the wedding out of the way, so we can enjoy our hard earned vacation. 66 days and counting...

Seating and Chuppahs and Cake, Oh My!

2009-06-24T12:53:00.009-04:00

So the weekend is almost here and guess what we'll be doing? Wedding stuff! Surprise (sarcastic). :-)

It's been a crazy week and now that we're only 9 weeks away it's getting crazier. Everyday, we're working on crossing stuff off of our to-do list. While we're getting stuff done, we've also had to backtrack. Example: a last minute wedding party cancellation has forced us reprint all the wedding programs and find a substitution-- a set back in both time and money.

This weekend it's all about the seating (and the cake!) We're heading to New York to meet with the bakery for a cake tasking and to pick out the design. Very exciting. We already know we're going with a red velvet cake with chocolate ganache filling and cream cheese icing. Delicious. But the design is still undetermined.

We're also going Into the Wild! We're going to cut down some trees to make the chuppah. From there, my mother will put it together, decorate it and make sure it's able to stand freely.

This is a real focal point of the Jewish ceremony and I really want my chuppah to reflect an outdoorsy/rustic feel, since we are getting married outside in a garden. The photo at the top left is a pretty great example of the look I'm going for. Simple. Rustic. Beautiful.

And, with our seating plan, the chuppah will get even more attention. We are pretty sure we're going to go with circular seating surrounding the chuppah.

I've been a fan of this idea since I first saw it for a few reasons. First and foremost, I think it sends a wonderful message that we are surrounded and supported by family and friends. It's also practical since we won't have mics -- this gives everyone a good seat and makes it easier to hear. And of course, it's different. How often do you see circular seating? This is one more thing that we hope will make our wedding unique.

We're meeting with the ceremony venue Saturday to view a mock set up of how it will look. So, this weekend it's all about planning-- next weekend is our couples shower! And the ball keeps rolling from there.

Here are some more inspirational pics of the chuppah look I'm going for and the seating. What do you think of the circular seating?

The Chuppah Inspiration:

Circular Seating:

The Mr. & Mrs. John Smith Debacle

2009-06-18T12:34:00.009-04:00

So...I'm finally at that stage of addressing and stuffing envelopes for our wedding invitations! Just about two weeks before we have to send them out. FINALLY. At times, it seemed this day would never get here.

Last night, I was going through the list, making an excel spreadsheet of all the addresses (I'm printing the envelopes myself). I knew that I wanted to make the wording somewhat formal, so I definitely wanted to thrown in a Mr., Mrs., Dr., etc., where possible.

But then I started running into all sorts of trouble-- namely redundancy and spacing.

I'm a feminist, born and raised. It's always rubbed me the wrong way when someone addresses a married woman as Mrs. John Smith (for example). It's like she doesn't have her own identity? Now that she's married, she's just an appendage of him?

When my fiance and I are announced at our reception, I made it very clear to the DJ that it was absolutely unacceptable to announce us in this way-- even though I'm taking my fiance's name. Mr. & Mrs. XYZ: Fine! Lauren & Anthony XYZ: Fine! But Mr. and Mrs. Anthony XYZ: NOT fine!

And, I most certainly did NOT want to address my envelopes this way, but am finding it IS the easiest way to get it done-- the way that asks the least questions and requires the least double checking. I have so much on my mind and I'm under so much stress. Is it possible that my feminist ideologies are being supplanted by my wedding stress-- and just wanting to get things done at this point, no matter how?

I finished off the list last night, but I have to admit, I've been rethinking ever since. Something about it just rubs me the wrong way. And, if your invitations are a taste of the wedding, and an taste of who you are -- both as a couple and a chance to show off your taste-- is this not sending the complete wrong message?

I currently have it in the format of: Mr. & Mrs. John Smith. But I'm trying to think of alternatives. I have so far:

Mr. & Mrs. Smith (Seems somewhat unfinished though in some way, no? And what if there's more than one in the household-- there are a few like this on his side.)
Mrs. Jennifer Smith and Mr. John Smith (Is this too redundant? And must they go on the same line-- what if space runs out? In the wedding books, they say two lines indicates they are unmarried.)
Jennifer and John Smith (Doesn't include the Mr. and Mrs., so it seems less formal. Not sure if I like that...)

So... what do you think? And how are you addressing your envelopes?

Invite the Obamas to Your Wedding

2009-06-11T17:22:00.006-04:00

OBVIOUSLY they won't show, but I hear you get a personal response letter signed by the president and first lady.

I'm keeping a scrap book of our engagement year, which includes newspaper clippings about our first African American president being elected and sworn into office! I think it will be great to show our kids one day.

A personalized letter from our new president would be an awesome addition to any engagement scrap book or wedding album.

A new president-- and a new life together. What could be better?

Send your invitation to:

The Honorable Barack Obama and Mrs. Obama
The White House
Greetings Office Room 39
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue
Washington, DC 20500

Or Fax to: 202. 395.1232

One more thing: Give it about 6 weeks before you start checking for a response.

My Wedding Rings Have Arrived!

2009-05-30T12:48:00.010-04:00

Got home today just in time to meet the mailwoman at the door-- and guess what: she had my wedding rings!

I ordered two bands to sandwich my engagement ring. Maybe I'm just not used to all the bling on my finger, but right now it's feeling like....wow. The good this is that I can wear the rings however I like-- with one band or two.

Can't wait until they're on my finger every day! Three months (to the day!) and counting...

Here they are with the two bands:

And with one:

Or, I can wear the bands alone in two different ways:

Keeping it Cool with Program Fans

2009-05-29T15:16:00.009-04:00

It's funny how different your wedding plans looks after you've been entrenched for a few months. Originally, I thought things like programs were completely unnecessary.

But after months of planning, little details like these are seemingly all you have to set your wedding apart from the countless others-- and you look for little things that will make your big day slightly different from all the other cookie cutter weddings you've been to.

In the end, you wind up finding and borrowing ideas from other weddings! Oh the irony.

One such idea for me was the program. Didn't want one at first. Then, when I realized that the majority of our guests have never been to a Jewish wedding, I figured it may be smart to offer one up so my guests can easily follow along-- and so that we can explain the meaning and symbolism of the traditions.

Once I started looking for programs, I came across an even better idea-- the program fan. Well, this is just perfect, I thought, because I'm having an outdoor late-summer wedding. So, not only is the program helpful, but it's functional too! And that was it.

For the last few months these programs have been the bane of my existence. I've come up with multiple designs-- even getting the graphic designers at work involved in formatting and properly coloring the image design I chose. I forced myself to get familiar with PhotoShop and designed them myself.

As with all wedding details, I ran into multiple road blocks-- for example, the fans I ordered didn't fit the programs I'd created at all.

After going back to square one-- many times. I finally came up with a design that I liked and that worked. And last night, I'm happy to say, I printed, cut and hole-punched all the programs! This weekend it's all about assembling and then this project will FINALLY be done!

All in all, I have to say, it was worth it. The fans came out beautifully-- they allowed us to give a beautifully written thanks to my parents and our guests, and they explain in a very moving way the meaning of the Jewish wedding traditions.

In the end, putting together the programs actually helped me better understand the significance of the various parts of the ceremony we'll carry out on our wedding day. I feel a stronger connection to each of these acts as I've become intimately familiar with with their history, tradition and meaning.

Don't want to spoil the surprise of my oh-so-precious wedding details. So I'll include a few examples of different wedding program fans that you may find inspirational for your planning. But, you'll have to wait until Aug. 30th to see what we finally came up with!

In Search of Something Borrowed

2009-05-21T11:38:00.012-04:00

Something old, something new, Something borrowed, something blue

That little rhyme-- a bridal tradition -- has taken up residence in a tiny spot in the back of my mind for the better part of my engagement, as I've searched to find the little treasures that will allow me to check off another item on the list.

But where does it come from and what does it symbolize?

According to Yahoo, the poem dates back to the Victorian era in England. With each item representing a good-luck token for the bride. The adage goes, if she carries all of them on her wedding day, her marriage will be happy.

"Something old" symbolizes continuity with the bride's family and the past. "Something new" means optimism and hope for the bride's new life ahead. Blue has been connected to weddings for centuries. In ancient Rome, brides wore blue to symbolize love, modesty, and fidelity and before the 19th century, it was a popular color for wedding gowns.

And for the something "Something borrowed"? This is usually an item from a happily married friend or family member, whose good fortune in marriage is supposed to carry over to the new bride. The borrowed item also reminds the bride that she can depend on her friends and family. And this little item is wherein my trouble lies.

Finding the items have been somewhat of a bridal scavenger hunt for me. I have my something old: my art deco heirloom engagement ring. Something new: You name it; my dress, my wedding jewelry, my veil, the list goes on. Something blue: in a stroke of marketing genius, the designer of my wedding shoes lined them with blue material. Now, I'm down to the most perplexing item of them all: "something borrowed."

If borrowing an item from a friend means that I can depend on them, what does it mean if I can't come up with a borrowed item at all? Does it mean they're unreliable-- or simply that they haven't gotten married yet, and don't really have anything to pass on? Ironically, I have seven friends or acquaintances that are getting married within two months of me-- including two of my bridesmaids. I imagine they'll need to use their something borrowed for themselves. I guess I'd have had better luck with this task after September.

And not only was I already having trouble coming up with something borrowed. But to know that my marital happiness is now tied up in the fortune of a married friend? Seems pretty risky considering that 50% of marriages end in divorce and you never know how strong a friend's marriage REALLY is behind closed doors. What if you pick the wrong friend to borrow marital fortune from? Eeeeek!

Searching the Internet for advice on finding something borrowed turned up few results. Most notably-- or rather forgettably-- I came across an Ehow article on finding something borrowed. No help at all. What was I expecting? I don't know... some online bridal swap of borrowed items, I guess. Hey, they have everything else online these days. Why not?

Still, it's tradition. And my search is on. I'll take anything at this point: a garter, a handkerchief, a hair pin. Wha'cha got for me? I'm totally open on this one.

And as if getting those items together wasn't enough-- there's a fifth, less talked about part of the poem, often lobbed off and forgotten about: "...And a silver sixpence in her shoe." And now I see why. Let's just say, I have enough to worry about.

A Two-Veil Bride?

2009-05-14T13:18:00.012-04:00

When I originally envisioned my wedding, I pictured everything very rustic-vintage circa 1940's. That included the most obvious element: the bird cage veil.

But when I found my dress, the ladies at the dress shop had a different idea: Cathedral length. The cathedral veil was something I NEVER expected to go with -- I had to be pushed to even try it on. But, man, those girls are good. As soon as I saw myself in the mirror, in my dress with that veil, I was sold. Cathedral it was. There was something so ceremonial about it, so delicate, so regal, so breathtaking.

The prices, were of course, ridiculous-- upwards of $300. Instead, my mom and I found a plain cathedral veil at Jessica McClintock on sale for a fraction of the cost, and my mother hand beaded it. Beautiful.

But I still LOVE that birdcage veil look. I thought it was lost to me forever-- until I got to thinking about the cocktail hour. Obviously, the cathedral veil isn't going to stay on all day-- imagine me on the dance floor with my poor veil being trampled over and my head being pulled every which way. NOT going to happen! Not even an option. I've heard about getting veils bustled, but I've never seen it done.

Then it occurred to me: why not be a two-veil bride? Cathedral for the ceremony and birdcage for the cocktail hour? Loving it!

Instead of dropping another $50-$200 on a BC veil though, I decided to make it myself. Bought the Russian netting, comb, a pretty flower (see the last post about my hand made Gardenia Etsy find) and some feathers. Now, the adventure is beginning. I've found a few patterns online, but none exactly like that I'm looking for-- a half veil, worn to the side, that covers one eye, at most (similar to the one at top but with flowers like the ones at bottom).

It's not a done deal. After it's made I need to try it on with my dress and make sure I am really going to do this. But so far, it's looking like I'm a two-veil bride.

Here's the inspiration. The ones below are of course, from my new favorite site, Etsy!

If you have any patterns for birdcage veils like these, please pass them along.

The Joys of Etsy

2009-04-29T10:25:00.016-04:00

Wow.... recently discovered Etsy. And man, am I addicted.

All I wonder is, HOW could I not have known about this before!? It's awesome!

Etsy is a community where you can buy and sell handmade or vintage items, art, fashion, photography, toys and supplies. And wow, do they have it all! You can buy everything from invitations to jewelry.

Etsy is not a wedding site, but it has some AMAZING finds for weddings. For inspiration, check out the Etsy Wedding Blog ("Off beat finds for the eclectic bride"). Some of the vendors sell as-is designs on the site. Others will custom make stuff for you.

According to Wikipedia, Etsy is "a crafty cross between Amazon and Ebay" and "Your grandmother's basement" and has been around since 2005. And, if you buy from Etsy, you're almost positively supporting a woman-owned-business, as most of the Etsy's 50,000 sellers are women.

So, check out my Etsy find of the day (above, left). I got this hand-made, hand-sewn Gardenia for my hair for 20 cents! Yup-- a "pay it forward" order, where the artist/seller just charges the cost of the listing (20 cents) and the shipping (a few bucks) and asks you to do something nice for someone else. I'm hoping to incorporate the gardenia into my hair for my wedding day. The seller has one more left, so if you're interested, check out SmittenXOXO's Etsy shop. She's got other pretty flowers and fascinators for the hair.

Finally, check out these other Etsy wedding finds (below). Handmade invitations and table arrangements. This is really just the tip of the iceberg, so take a look for yourself. If you haven't visited Etsy, you're SERIOUSLY missing out. Go there. Like, now.

Rehearsal Dinner Venue: Booked!

2009-04-24T12:56:00.012-04:00

We booked our rehearsal dinner venue! I'm happy to say, that is IT.

This was the last vendor we needed to research and choose. The last company we needed to sign a contract with. From this point out, all vendors have been selected, all deposits have been paid and all dates have been booked.

Whew! (Looooong sigh of relief).

We chose the rehearsal dinner location, because although it's being hosted by my fiances parents, they're not from the area and had no idea where to hold it.

Well, it will be at Shadows on the Hudson on the outdoors deck (pictured above!) overlooking the Hudson River and the mountains. It should be the perfect end to a great day that will include: the rehearsal, a barbecue and softball game (team bride vs. team groom), manis and pedis for the ladies, and finally, the dinner. Can't wait to be sitting on the deck on that beautiful warm August evening, knowing that I'm marrying my best friend and the love of my life, the next day.

August 30th can't get here soon enough!

Above, Photos of Shadows and Shadow's food.

I Do But I Don't

2009-04-22T08:31:00.010-04:00

Even the most planning-loving bride occasionally gets stressed out from the process. There's where I am right about now.

The last week has been super hectic-- and a whirlwind of DIY projects are now sitting in my lap-- and in my living room. Our apartment is being overtaken by one huge box after the next-- candles and votives, fans, card stock for programs, flowers upon flowers, guestbooks and pens, invitations-- the list goes on. On top of that, I've been to the arts & craft store 4 times in the last week for wedding-related stuff.

To make matters worse, work (we're launching a big new website today) and organizational commitments kept me busy until 1 AM last night. It's not usually this bad, but this week, it just was.

And now, every time I look around my apartment, I can't concentrate on relaxing for the evening, I'm focused on getting some of these projects done so that I can move these boxes out of our small apartment and up to my parents' home in NY (where the wedding will take place this summer). Should I stuff and address the invitations first? Hand wash all the glass votives that came in dusty from the factory? Assemble all the favor bags? Or... should I put together the programs? They will all sit here taking up space-- and taunting me -- until they're done.

Got to thinking about the unique stresses of a wedding and found some articles that offer up advice. One details how to Rise Above Wedding Planning Stress, another offers 10 Tips for Handling Stress During Wedding Planning.

Funny how everything I found is written from the bride's perspective. Where are the articles on helping grooms deal with stress? Oh... that's right, they don't need them! Don't get me wrong, my fiance helps out when asked-- but if we're going to be truly honest here, let's call it like it is: wedding planning is "women's work." As uncomfortable as it is to say that, it's 100% true-- one of the few jobs now a days that really are still viewed in that light. And as much as I enjoy the process, I have to admit, that gets under my skin a bit.

Which brings me to the one truly de-stressing, enjoyable -- and thought provoking -- thing I've read during these 7 months that we've been engaged. I Do But I Don't, Why the Way We Marry Matters, by Kamy Wicoff. Found this little gem in the Weddings section of the book store, but really should have been in Women's Studies instead. In her book, she details all the things about wedding planning you thought you were the only one thinking.

The book is described by Amazon as:

"A modern woman's look at what it means to be a bride--caught between feminist ideals and the allure of the traditional wedding.

Why is the traditional image of the bride before her wedding day that of a stressed and overly emotional woman, snapping at everyone in sight? And how, over the last decade, has the wedding industry exploded into a hundred-billion-dollar-a-year industry that sends increasing numbers of newly married couples into debt?

Wicoff examines both the personal and the cultural meanings of all the trappings--from the proposal and the ring to the dress and even the bachelorette party. Her passionate argument for clear-eyed, conscious marriage will ring true to all brides trying to keep their sanity and integrity intact. "

Excerpt from the Author from e Not Alone:

This is a book about my experience getting married. It is not a boy-meets-girl story, however. It is a girl (and boy)-meets-culture story — the story of the head-on collision between individuals and societies that weddings bring about, and how American women my age, the daughters of baby boomers, are handling it.

It is also the story of what women confront whenever they confront The Bride: a definition of womanhood that is narrower, more traditional, and more troublesome than many of them would like to admit. It is a difficult subject, more difficult than I knew when I began writing about it.

For one thing, very few women (and I corresponded with more than eighty, some married, some not, ranging in age from twenty-three to forty-five, as they filled out the series of questionnaires I created regarding all things weddingy) are willing to acknowledge the idea that, in this modern era, any such thing as "a definition of womanhood" exists, and are even less inclined to acknowledge that such a definition has the power to dictate their behavior.

In fact, the most fervent, consistently held belief the women I interviewed expressed was that in a post-feminist, post-sexual-revolution world, women are free to define womanhood themselves, making any discussion of the social and cultural pressures women experience as brides irrelevant and even insulting.

A shocking number of brides are like that. Harried, stressed, emotional, and moody in varying degrees, women in the midst of the modern wedding experience have brought us the term "Bridezilla," and have made the term "wedding planner" part of the national vocabulary. They have sought professional help in record numbers, not just from wedding planners but from the newly extant ranks of wedding therapists and wedding coaches, too.

Most women, of course, are not Bridezillas, nor do they pay professional counselors to guide them through engagement. But extraordinary numbers of ordinary women feel isolated, freaked-out, and in a general state of crisis from the time they start thinking about engagement rings to the time they put wedding bands on their fingers. And this bridal state of mind has deeper roots than any of the existing literature — if it can be called that — begins to address.

The fact is that the usual suspects for bridal stress — in-laws, dress panic, financial worries, and incompetent florists — are not what have driven hundreds of thousands of women my age to seek guidance, comfort, and relief wherever they can find it. Instead, a complex range of factors, particular to the post-feminist, post-sexual-revolution world in which these women came of age, have made women of my generation more avid about weddings than ever (fueling an unprecedented, decade-long wedding-industry boom) and more conflicted about them than ever, too.

Above images from http://pro.corbis.com and www.womensradio.com.

In Search of: Vintage Table Arrangements

2009-04-18T09:43:00.004-04:00

While searching for vintage inspired table arrangements, I came across these little gems in Martha Stewart Weddings. Absolutely loving the simplicity and the mix-and-match-ability of the petite goblets and wine glasses.

The antique glasses are each unique-- and all slightly different in color and shape-- but keep to the same color palette. When grouped together they are simply stunning.

Of course the glasses are key. "Depression-era glass", "Carnival glass" and "pressed glass" pieces come in every color from pink, to amber, to green. White vintage "milk glass" goblets can also do the trick.

But pulling off this look is not for the faint of heart (aka the busy bride). You'll find the glasses online for upwards of $3.50 each by trolling sites like e-bay and others that offer vintage finds like tias.com, Ruby Lane, and GoAntiques but the shipping is the killer-- often starting at $10! When you need 50 glasses to group together on tables, that adds up (and let's not forget you still need to fill them with flowers!)

If you'd prefer to skip the shipping fees, take a look through thrift stores, garage sales and goodwill. It may take a while to find what you're looking for, but with a table setting this vintage chic, it could prove to be well worth the trouble.

Tissue Paper Flowers

2009-04-16T21:57:00.017-04:00

So, I've been looking for an inexpensive way to decorate favors. Of course, I love flowers. I adore the idea of placing a fresh flower on each guests' table setting, on programs and on favor bags, just to name a few.

But let's face it, flowers are costly. It's enough just to pay for the bouquets and table arrangements, let alone all the small extras. I went to the craft store today looking for an alterative and nothing would really do. The silk flowers were expensive and honestly, weren't even that impressive. Martha Stewart's line of 6 dimensional flower apliques were cute, but way too expensive. Then I came across something else-- something inexpensive and adorable: the tissue paper flower!

What's awesome about this is that you can do with them whatever you want-- you pick the color, and the type of flower you're going for. And as we all know, tissue paper is a fraction of the cost of real flowers.

The flowers above were made from a kit: yes, Martha Stewart has done it again. The kits are sold at Michael's for $20 a pop and yeild a nice size bouqet for a table arrangement. But of course, you can do them yourself for much cheaper by buying the tools yourself. Hey, you may even want to use MS's kit as a cheat sheet ;-) To try it yourself, check one step by step here. And you can buy additional kits (and get more ideas) at the Paper Source.

Also, if you're not into the whole DIY thing, you can actually hire someone to do these for you. Who knew? Apparently paper flowers are a growing trend among brides who just don't want to shell out the cash for the real thing. Maria Noble of St. Jude Creations in Bristol, Connecticuit does some AMAZING stuff with paper. She charges from .50/flower to $20.99/dozen depending on the flower of choice and gives discounts for orders above $100.

Here, a few examples of St. Jude Creation paper flowers:

She also does clay flowers. On her site, I came across her extremely life-like gardenias. This is the flower I'm DYING to have in my bouquet (and the men's lapels), but I've been rebuked by every florist I spoke to: they're very fragile spring flowers and apparently will wilt the minute I take them outside on my late-August wedding day.

Uh oh... enter a new idea (or as Oprah would say, my "Aha" moment): mixing the clay gardenia in with the fresh flowers! For one thing, they definitely won't wilt. And if they look half as good in person as they do online, you won't be able to tell the gardenia mixed in amongst all the other flowers aren't real-- that is unless you're REALLY all up in my bouquet mix.

Above, St. Jude Creation's clay gardenias.

Also, Check out some other paper flower ideas. Believe it or not, these (below) are tissue paper!

(From Vintage Glam)

Let the Light Shine. Candles, Candles, Candles.

2009-04-16T11:05:00.006-04:00

Saving money on flowers. That's what originally peaked my interest in candles. The more I looked into it, the more I realized what a great option candles are.

At my reception, I'll be using them to decorate mantles, the bar, the guest book and cake tables --and of course, the tables at the reception. They can also be used to line the isle at an evening ceremony and they stand alone or make a great addition to a flower arrangement.

But buying hundreds of candles can add up. And finding ones that don't break the budget when buying in bulk...that's another story. Enter Quick Candles. Super reasonably priced. You can order 144 10-hour candles in virtually any color-- including glass votives-- for $79! Yes, I did say that includes the glass votives. This company ROCKS-- they offer everything from luminary candles (those candles in bags!), to pillar, tealight, floating and more.

So... you really can do some awesome things with candles without breaking the bank.

Here are some ideas for candle centerpieces...

Here, candles line the isle. LOVE this idea! If I was getting married indoors, I'd be 100% about this!

Candles are a great way to honor a deceased love one...

Photo above left from www.beau-coup.com.

The Bridal Gown Sketch

2009-04-15T14:39:00.004-04:00

When a friend told me she was having her dress custom made and was soon expecting a sketch of her gown, I got to thinking about how awesome it would be to have a sketch of my dress.

Searching online turned up quite a few cool results. My fav: Bridal Portraits by Brooke Hagel, a Manhattan-based FIT grad. She'll do custom portraits for any occasion, but of course the bridal shots caught my eye! The chick charges some serious dough for the portraits though-- $365 (including shipping) for an 8" x 10". She also offers gift certificates for bridesmaids, moms and other women to buy the portrait for the bride as a gift (hint, hint!)

Dreamlines is another (more affordable) option. You'll get a sketch of your gown, the only downside is that the portrait doesn't include you. Still, at $100 for an 8 1/2 x 11, it's an awesome option.

Above, gown sketch from Dreamlines.

Another bridal portrait by Brook Hagel.

More from Brook Hagel.